The One Where Dave Wenn Got “Lost” For About 45 Minutes – 03.31.2008 – Run 1384
First off, your humble scribe requests leniency in the judging of this and soon to come write-ups as they are occurring months after these hashes were hashed out. For example, this one? 70 days after the fact. Oh well, better than 72, right?
Either way, there we were in the parking lot of Goodman’s Bay, our typical rag-tag group of hashers standing around like we don’t know what to do, when it became apparent to the Hash Master that there were more walkers than runners. This could not be tolerated and thus a walker was forced into the “normal,” or running, group. Things being corrected, Richard stepped up as our Hare and gave the lowdown that it was to be a long run and anyone who stuck on for the whole run would be treated to some sort of special experience.
Lies aside, we kicked off heading west on Bay Street and following a straight line for about a half mile before we turned right, onto the beach, where we turned right again and ran along the beach in the opposite direction for almost three-quarters of a mile, passing the On-On and coming to a box at the base of a statue rumored to be Frank’s father. From here, we followed a path back to Bay Street and again turned west, eventually reaching S.G. Hambros and turning onto their property where we followed a winding path to the back entrance… which was gated and locked. Impatient, Frank began to scale the fence that included large spikes to dissuade such activities. For the rest of us, Richard revealed a plastic crate that we could climb atop and than squeeze through a small gap in the gate. Limbs were almost lost and a few shorts were caught (mine) but we made it through alive and found a box waiting on the other side. From here, another turn westward and we followed the road until coming to a check-in at an intersection. One path followed the road and was false; the other went into some thick bush and was correct – some chose to ignore the correct path and continue along the road because it looked easier and they are lazy bastards. Dave Wenn was one of these poor souls and he would disappear for the next 45 minutes.
For the rest of us, we made it through the bush fairly easily and emerged on Harold Road just a few minutes later, where we found another box. Upon the suggestion of the Hare, we turned north on Harold and than west (yet again) on Sanford Drive which we followed for a half-mile while the flour grew scarce. As the sun was setting, we turned north along the unfinished road that leads to Cable Beach and found a box at the top of a small hill where we waited for a few minutes to see how many hashers were still with us. We had begun the run with about 15 or so runners and had lost almost 10 along the way, moaning about the length of the run and the thickness of the bush. Yes, the length and the thickness – read into it what you will. So, we took off from the box and the Hare guided us along a thin, dark trail that disappeared behind a power station and emerged… on the Cable Beach Golf Course, of course. The On-In marking was waiting for us and the last few hashers made their way across that open and empty stretch of golf course as the sun set behind us. For a run that was almost 4.5 miles long and involved a lot of sand, rock and bush, this was a fine way to conclude things.
When we returned, we found all of the walkers and all of the runners who had wussed out on the full distance, with the exception of Dave. Some thought he had come back and left, others said they hadn’t seen him at all. We decided to proceed with the post-run Hare judgment and down-downs. About 80% of the way through, with the sun having almost completely set, Dave Wenn suddenly reappeared in the parking lot. He explained that instead of turning on the unfinished road, he had continued west along Sanford Drive, continuing the entire length of the road and finally emerging near Brittania Pub where he turned east on Bay and came back to the parking lot. This meant that instead of approximately 4.5 miles, Dave’s run had become almost 6 miles. All that’s left to be said is let this be a warning to any short-cutters out there: your shortcut is very likely a dumb idea and the real trail might not be half as bad as what you’re about to do.